The following was submitted to us by a young woman who grew up in the foster care system in the US -- we found her message touching and her honesty refreshing. Please take the time to read her note. - SR


Things on my mind....

Yesterday at 11:19am
"I wake up every morning & i ask myself is life worth living or should i blast myself". -pac

CRAZY, that at 20 years old i wake up every morning and think that. I go to bed every night & thank God I had the strength to carry through to another day.

There is so much ugly in this world of ours and i see very few people doing anything about it. Are you guys not hurting like me? Do you guys not see what I see?

There are wars all over the world, poverty, homelessness, a lack of stability in our families and relationships. Why is it that no one has each other backs? Are people always going to be so selfish and blind to the bigger picture?

Us women do not stick together. Men are doggs so much of the time (I believe) because so many women are just giving them their bodies without them having to put in any effort. With there simple minded judgment do you really think they are going to deal with a woman where there are actually expectations expected to be met or that "easy" girl? & these ladies are sleeping with men they know are in relationships or married always saying things like "I can do you better than her" or "fuck that bitch" THERE`S NO RESPECT. & ladies know that if you continue this pattern-this pattern of not coming together and having each other`s back, men will continue to do things the way they do.

I`ve experienced so much in these 20 years and my heart is shattered. My spirit is fighting to escape beyond this world of ugliness. I refuse to put up with the fakes, the liars, the cheaters, the deceivers, I know i can`t be the only one out here, but I find myself alone. I am not perfect, I sin, I curse, i smoke, i drink. But i do not deceive or hurt people intentionally. My heart is pure and I am out to help anyone i can in anyway... from a stranger on the street to my family (which is broken).

Family-where are you? I guess not growing up together has made many of us distant. Know my heart hurts everyday when I think of you all. I`m hurt we aren`t closer. I`m hurt i don`t have the majority of your phone numbers. That I haven`t seen you guys in months... some years. That i have no support. no mother or father calling to see how i am doing, no one to help guide me in the right direction-so i follow the path i think God wants for me.

I pray that we as a people can some how come together, love one another like the Lord loves each and every one of us. That we can forgive but not forget, instead learn and move forward. Life is short, are you living yours the way you like? We can make HUGE CHANGES, I can only control myself however. I ask God to work in everyone`s heart. Bring the need to help, love, and respect every person walking the face of this Earth to the front of everyone`s mind. Life has a way of dragging you down and having you focus on just you and yours but if you really open your eyes... we all belong to each other for we are all brothers and sisters.

-- Lola Bell

Editor's Note: Lola will be contributing more articles and commentary to Scamraiders on a continuing basis. Please stay tuned.

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